1) Kennedy bows out of NY Senate Race
Caroline, We Hardly Knew Ye!
2) Itzhak Perlman and Yo-Yo Ma Finger-Sync at the Inaguration
The New Milli Vanilli?
3) Obama to Close Gitmo and Find New Home for Prisoners
50 States unanimously shout "NIMBY!"
4) 4.1 Billion Dollars in Bonuses at Merrill Lynch
Yeah, but, remember, they have to pay for their own parking
5) Disgraceful 100-0 Girls Basketball Rout
Winning coach explains he was simply aiming for
a "year-end bonus at Merrill Lynch"