The Puritans loved anagrams...

...because they felt that people's names said much about their characters.  They would even base funeral elegies upon the anagrams created from their names.

You make think this is nonsense, but look at an anagram of Manti Te'o (he of the fake girlfriend whom he lied about meeting, whose death he mourned, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera):

Not a Item 

 

All of a sudden, the Puritans seem like they knew what they were doing!

The Top Ten Reasons I love my Manti-Te'o-Style Fake Girlfriend

10.  Her favorite expression is, "Catfish ain't nothin' but a seafood dish."

9.  She thinks Hunger Games are the sports world's equivalent of Feed the World.

8.  She prefers Dick to Jeremy Schaap.

7.  She doesn't even have a fake pet.

6.  She has a Hall of Fame Vote and every year only writes in "Pete Rose."

5.  She has seen even fewer Star Wars movies than I have.

4.  She believes Manti Te'o. 

3.  She loves the theatre but never comes late.

2.  Her Christmas tree is also still up.

And the Number One Reason I love my Manti-Te'o-Style Fake Girlfriend":

1.  She just admitted to doping with Lance Armstrong.