The Top Ten Reasons I love my Manti-Te'o-Style Fake Girlfriend

10.  Her favorite expression is, "Catfish ain't nothin' but a seafood dish."

9.  She thinks Hunger Games are the sports world's equivalent of Feed the World.

8.  She prefers Dick to Jeremy Schaap.

7.  She doesn't even have a fake pet.

6.  She has a Hall of Fame Vote and every year only writes in "Pete Rose."

5.  She has seen even fewer Star Wars movies than I have.

4.  She believes Manti Te'o. 

3.  She loves the theatre but never comes late.

2.  Her Christmas tree is also still up.

And the Number One Reason I love my Manti-Te'o-Style Fake Girlfriend":

1.  She just admitted to doping with Lance Armstrong.

Spring must be tomorrow because the Xmas Tree...

...has come down today!

It's February 1st...

1) We REALLY need to take down our Christmas tree.

2) Seven more months of chair-hood

3) The "Frank, Gil, and Friends" Groundhog Day Show is just a day away!