The Top Ten Reasons I love my Manti-Te'o-Style Fake Girlfriend

10.  Her favorite expression is, "Catfish ain't nothin' but a seafood dish."

9.  She thinks Hunger Games are the sports world's equivalent of Feed the World.

8.  She prefers Dick to Jeremy Schaap.

7.  She doesn't even have a fake pet.

6.  She has a Hall of Fame Vote and every year only writes in "Pete Rose."

5.  She has seen even fewer Star Wars movies than I have.

4.  She believes Manti Te'o. 

3.  She loves the theatre but never comes late.

2.  Her Christmas tree is also still up.

And the Number One Reason I love my Manti-Te'o-Style Fake Girlfriend":

1.  She just admitted to doping with Lance Armstrong.

Notes on some things I've seen on CBS this evening....

1. No matter what she says, I'm pretty sure that Julianna Margulies would look great with gray hair!

2. I believe what Tyler Hamilton said about Lance Armstrong on 60 Minutes, but don't much like him.

3. It's pretty clear that being the anchor of the network evening news anymore, or else how would Scott Pelley have gotten the job at CBS.

4. It's good to see William Devane again.

Lance Armstrong breaks his collarbone during a race in Spain

Would it be inappropriate to suggest to Mr. Armstrong that steroids help faster healing?

The Tour de France, after all, is just a few months away!