My Breakfast with Andre

The Problem with Choice

is

What You Leave Out

: Andre Gide





Paging Katie Couric! Paging Katie Couric!

So, prepping for my colonoscopy on Sunday and early Monday morning gave me a sense of accomplishment. And I bet I'm not alone in this. 

So, given that physicians want to encourage their patients to have the procedure, I have a couple ideas (the first quite seriously, the second less so) for t-shirts/hats, etc. to be given to whomever has a colonoscopy.

 It should be accompanied by a major public service announcement campaign...hence, the need of Ms. Couric!

Slogan 1:  

I've been 'py-ed

(Have you?)

It should, of course, be "'scoped," but no lay person says that.  We always use the name of the procedure.

Slogan 2:

I put it where the sun don't shine

(Have you?)

Katie, have your people call mine.

It was 50 years ago today that John Glenn circles the earth...

...in his space capsule, Friendship 7.  Below is the recording (45 rpm!) that came with the G. I. Joe Mercury capsule! 

I still have my record, though not the capsule or the spacesuit or the G. I. Joe.

And, also in John Glenn's honor, here's my favorite Elvis Costello reference to presidential candidate Senator Glenn from "Peace in Our Time" of 1984's Goodbye Cruel World:

And the heavyweight champion fights in the
International Propaganda Star Wars
There's already one spaceman in the White House;
What do you want another one for?

Godspeed, John Glenn!

Top Five (er, six) Presidential Colonoscopy Quotes

On this Presidents' Day 2012 (and the day of my first colonoscopy), here are the top five presidential colonoscopic quotations:

6. (Bonus)  "Colonoscopy accomplished." 

George W. Bush

5.  "I cannot tell a lie; I didn't have a colonoscopy." 

George Washington

4.  "Tippecanoe and Colonoscopy Too." 

William Henry Harrison

3. "I am not a gastroenterologist."

Richard Nixon  

2.  "A colon divided against itself cannot stand." 

Abraham Lincoln

and the #1 Presidential-themed colonoscopy quotation is:

1. "I did not have a colonoscopy with that doctor." 

Bill Clinton

My top four predicted findings from tomorrow's age-appropriate colonoscopy

4.  That they will find every piece of gum I've ever swallowed (and I swallow most of 'em)!

3.  That there will be no sign of any of the many, many, many books that I've devoured over my first fifty years of life.

2.  That there will be an unnaturally pinkish hue from my history of Hostess Snoballs.

and, finally,

1.  That there will be evidence that I have, not unlike much of the American public, swallowed a whole bunch of hooey, such as:

No, no, no, not the cereal, per se (which admittedly I DID love), but the claim that the "sugary sweet cereal [will give the consumer] 100% of the minimum daily requirements of vitamins and iron established by the U.S. Government."

The Top Three Paul Simon-as-Back-up-Singer Recordings

#3 "You Can Call Me Al,"  Graceland,  with Chevy Chase

     (Okay, it's only in the video that he's not the LEAD singer, but so what?)

#2 "Written on the Subway Wall/Little Star,"  Yo Frankie, with Dion

(Simon's appearance here is quite appropriate since Dion's song probably owes not a little to Simon's "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls" from "Sounds of Silence.)"

and the #1 Paul-Simon-as-a-Back-Up-Singer recording is

"The Blues," Trouble in Paradise, with Randy Newman

(Randy and Paul making light of Simon's at times dour persona!)

In honor of Yoko Ono's 79th birthday...

...here are two songs from the 1984 tribute album Every Man Has a Woman with performances by Roberta Flack

and son Sean...

Admittedly, I'm no fan of Ms. Ono's voice, but she can write a song. 

Happy Birthday, Yoko!