A Very Brady Health Hazard

Avoiding work by watching Brady Bunch on Nick at Nite, I'm amazed that any of that family survived!

In one scene Alice (Ann B. Davis), the housekeeper, is making hamburgers and, in an attempt to show her how much the Bradys need her -- even with a mother/wife (Florence Henderson) in the house again -- the entire family starts begging her to help them. So, called away from the hamburger preparation, Alice perfunctorily wipes her hands on a dry towel and heads upstairs to find Mr. Brady's (Robert Reed) black bowtie, touching the bannister with each stair she takes, only to stop half way up and return downstairs when the phone rings -- which she answers, leaving raw ground beef fingerprints all across the Brady homestead.

Even granting that food inspection in 1969 may have been more thorough or at least better staffed and/or regulated than it is now (and that's probably a fairly generous hypothesis) how'd those Bradys not drop over regularly from e coli or the like?

I won't even mention that the episode begins with the helmet-less Bobby's taking a major spill on his bike -- which, according to the lad, ended up looking "like a pretzel.")

They didn't need a housekeeper or a Dr. Mom; they needed Julia (Diahann Carroll)!

I'm looking for a hard-headed woman...

A co-worker who shall remain nameless has taken to riding -- as often as possible -- a very nice bike she calls "Myrtle." It even has a little bell. However, because she rides on the sidewalk and stays mostly in her neighborhood, she refuses to wear a helmet since, as she argues, a helmet (especially those aerodynamic ones so popular with the kids!) just "wouldn't go with Myrtle."

"Safety first," we say.

Right, Sister?