07 March 2012

If I'm Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay..

...then, at today's press conference at which the Colts and quarterback Peyton Manning will announce our parting ways...primarily because I don't want to pay Peyton the $28 million dollar bonus I'd owe him if he's on the team tomorrow (especially since I don't even know if he can play, after three neck surgeries in the past year and a half and I can choose QB Andrew Luck as the first pick in this year's draft), I'd plan on doing the following:

Greet Peyton with a playful headlock and noogie!

Use luck, lucky, or luckily, in each sentence of my prepared statement.

Give Peyton several, enthusiastic pats on the back as he leaves the podium, and, of course,

say, "Godspeed, Eli's brother!"

No comments:

Post a Comment