Like many, if not most, of us men, I suffer from the embarrassing problem of...well...uh...you know...a great deal of...of spam in my inbox.
And it just so happens that the vast majority of it focuses on my apparent lack of size in the "manliness" department.
While many of the titles of these messages stretch the bounds of effective metaphor and clever euphemism, I've finally received one that speaks my language: the language of the Great American Songbook!
The title of the spam reads "The Age of Miracles hasn't past [sic]," which, of course, is an allusion, albeit a misspelled one, to the ending of a wonderful Gershwin and Gershwin song, originally introduced by Fred Astaire, "A Foggy Day (in London Town):"
...How long, I wondered, could this thing last?
but the Age of Miracles hadn't passed;
for suddenly I saw you there,
and in foggy London Town the sun was shining everywhere!
I almost wanted to open the email and risk an e-virus because, if a George and Ira composition can't sell successful lovemakin', what can? Goodness knows, that "Viva Viagra" campaign isn't cutting it!
I'd also suggest a trio of other G & G titles for those Viagra or Cialis ads:
"Could You Use Me?"
"[My] Love is Here to Stay [Up]"
and, of course, the ever-popular
"(We are) Bronco Busters"!