Have we really gotten to NIMKS (not in my kid's school)!?!

Who'd have thought that American political "debate" (and I use that term very loosely) would ever reach the point of people's objecting to a President's addressing school children?

Now, there's no doubt that critics of President Bush would have had a field day imagining how he might send all sorts of bad messages to our impressionable youth with his mangled syntax and fractured pronunciation, but I'd be hard pressed to think of any sane person/pundit who'd object to the idea of W's talking directly to them or to his asking them the decidedly innocuous question, "How can you help me?" (Feel free to link to anything that might refute this statement, but, no, Michael Moore isn't a sane pundit.)

Here's hoping that New Britain schools do take the opportunity to have my kids hear the President. Will it be life-changing? No. Will it be worth a half hour? Of course.

Now, here are the top 5 things the President probably shouldn't say during Wednesday's address to American school children:

5. "Send me your favorite Dick Cheney joke."

4. "Hey, kids, 'borrow' your parent's credit card and make a donation to Moveon.org."

3. "At my signal , start banging on your desks and shouting: 'What do we want? Health Reform! When do we want it? Now!'"

2. "The history of Socialism is a long and noble one..."

1. "Pssst. Wanna know a secret? I'm not an American citizen! Hee. Hee. Hee."