An Open Letter to Xfinity.Comcast.net

Dear Xfinity.Comcast.net:

I thought I was going to be able to keep track of the number of times in 2014 that you thought a female "entertainer" (latter word very loosely defined) looking very good in a swimsuit was worthy of a spot on your website. Then I would tweet it under #____WowsInBikini.

Y'know, I figured I'd be making a snarky statement about the frivolous nature of contemporary "news."

But, I give up....it's early on January 10th, and, to be blunt, I'm already TIRED of posting these things!  And I can only imagine how hard you all must be working to, on average -- more often  than every 48 hours -- be able to uncover a new version of this same picture to WOW us.  Now THAT must be exhausting work.

Kris Jenner is the latest ... joining Gwyneth Paltrow, Reese Witherspoon, Jane Seymour, and Charlize Theron. And this number, naturally, only includes the swimwear posts and not any of those women who have "stunned" in a "slinky dress" or some other "skin-tight look."

God bless you, all, for the important work you're doing.

Just once I'd like to see you post a picture of someone, anyone, wowing us with a book or an idea or a painting or a...

GG

PS: Whatever happened to "swimtrunks"?

2014 is, I have declared,...

a) the "Year of Jimmy Durante" (follow on Twitter at #YearOfJimmyDurante)

Jan 1st: The Blanks' "Ballad of Jimmy Durante"

Jan 2nd: The Song's Gotta Come from the Heart

Jan 3rd: Frosty The Snowman

 

and

b) the year that I'm going to track the number of times the website Xfinity.com thinks an actress in a swimsuit is newsworthy.  (Follow on Twitter at #_____WowsInBikini")

Thus far, only three days into 2014, Charlize Theron and Jane Seymour have been spotted!

 

Ah, a big year ahead, no?