27 February 2010
Pride goeth before the fall.
"Is there anything more mortifying for a grown man than having to talk about your sex life in front of your mom?"
Now, unless Tiger Woods was talking about my sex life in front of my mom, the sentence would've been far better, and more accurate, using "his" instead of "your," no? This kind of shift is a common error in a lot of bad writing, but, man, I read SI for the good writing.
2) In Steve Nash's interview with Dan Patrick, who asked the Phoenix Suns' point guard whether the Suns ever "joke about potential trades in the locker room," Nash responded:
"Not really, no. It's a sensitive subject, so we don't bring it up. We try not to listen to all that stuff, because it is speculation."
Compare that bit of "sensitivity" with the constant, albeit loving, abuse concerning trade talk heaped upon Tony Perez by his fellow Big Red Machinists (Pete Rose, Joe Morgan, and Johnny Bench) during the entire 1975 season -- which ended in, as you may recall, a seven-game World Series victory over the Boston Red Sox. (Check out the great books The Machine by Joe Posnanski and Game Six by Mark Frost for more details.)
The trade talk (and abuse) continued through the next season too (at the end of which they again won the World Series in a four-game sweep of the New York Yankees, BTW), until Reds management finally traded Tony away -- against the very loud public and private protestations of his aforementioned teammates -- and, as a result, brought to an end the Big Red Machine.
Perhaps, with a little more tough love in the locker room, the Phoenix Suns might produce a championship season? Just a thought.
25 February 2010
I promised in my response to a comment from a recent post that I'd do a series on the SEVEN DEADLY SINS!
The song is "That's Motivation," the singer David Bowie. (If you want to cut right to the song, start at about the 1:30 mark.)
Take special notice of the aforesaid sins, but please don't neglect Mr. Bowie's tap dancing or the hommage to the "Come Fly With Me" Sinatra.
Now, while I certainly disagree with the lukewarm review of what I consider to be a great sequel to be ranked right up there with Godfather 2 and The New Testament, I heartily applaud the writer as someone who avoids the more obvious subject matter, diction, and tone usually associated with the genre. Bravo, I say.
For the record, my favorite piece of bathroom graffiti comes from the basement restroom of Marist Hall on the campus of The Catholic University of America in Washington, DC. There was a note attached right above the toilet which read:
To which someone appended:
Paragraph 1: TTQA -- "Turn the question around" (cue Vickie Sue Robinson, please!)
Paragraph 2: Include a quotation
Paragraph 3: Include a statistic
Paragraph 4: Include a sound
Paragraph 5: Restate the answer
Ah, the beauty of great writing!
24 February 2010
23 February 2010
And, what's even better is that, on the podium, they sang their national anthem with joy and gusto. (Compare them with Bode Miller, for example, who, as my wife pointed out, seemed not even to notice that the national anthem was being played -- much less convey any sense of significance to the fact.)
22 February 2010
Live as you please
Can we make it if we all live together
As one big family?
"We Are London"
Madness, The Liberty of Norton Folgate
21 February 2010
I guess I'm supposed to be pleased that, now that Bode's got a kid and is all "grown up" now, he can truly appreciate his sport and, as a result, succeed.
Please be clear: I'm not against losing and certainly not against immaturity (see any number of my Pete Rose posts), but my immature athletes had better produce!
20 February 2010
18 February 2010
For more details on any of the books, just click on the cover.
2. The aforesaid half-piper didn't even have to "drop in" a second time to win gold. Good god, how about averaging the scores of the two runs, at least?!!!
3. I think no new sports should be introduced into the Olympics that are not decided by measurements of time, distance, targets, or goals. This half-pipe stuff is just the x-game version of figure skating, of which, as readers of this blog know, I am critical -- not because of the undeniable athleticism (or even the ugly costumes or pointless music), but because of its absence of anything truly measurable. Once figure skating got rid of the compulsory round (literally, the figure 8s!), they created a monster that made a) newcomers unable to win and b) skaters so eager to do more and more big jumps that they can't even land 'em.
4. That downhill skier Vonn gets injured a lot, no? (She hurt her thumb opening a celebratory bottle of champagne at some point!) While she does win, she might want to consider a new line of work...just for her own safety.
5. EVERY athlete should be Apolo Ohno.
Would you like a mulligan?
17 February 2010
And pray to God to have mercy upon us
And pray that I may forget
These matters that with myself I too much discuss
Too much explain
Because I do not hope to turn again
Let these words answer
For what is done, not to be done again
May the judgment not be too heavy upon us
16 February 2010
Here are some shows I'd like to see on HG:
"Burning Down the House" -- Arsonists look at the difficulties in getting the job done on a variety of properties.
"The Big Bad Wolf" -- Which home won't withstand strong winds?
"Squatters' Rights" -- Track the actions of three different squatters an try to guess which one will avoid eviction.
15 February 2010
14 February 2010
One step closer to publication on 1 May 2010....
How much do I love you?
I'll tell you no lie
How deep is the ocean?
Average depth: 12, 400 feet
How high is the sky?
Approximately 220 miles
How many times a day do I think of you?
According to a UK survey, women think about sex approximately 1480 times each year, men almost 5000
How many roses are covered in dew?
Some 8000 hectares of land are dedicated to rose growing in the Netherlands
How far will I travel to be where you are?
How far is the journey from here to a star?
92 million miles
And, if I ever lost you, how much would I cry?
Men cry on the average of once a month; women once a week.
How deep is the ocean?
How high is the sky?
12 February 2010
2) US Women will place no higher than fifth in figure skating.
3) There will continue to be no groundswell of support to bring back compulsories in figure skating (although there should be)!
Here's how my catalogue is progressing!
Hunters and Math: The Bear Trapezoid
Sports(wo)men and Math: Trapezoid Shooting
Exterminators and Math: The Mouse Trapezoid
Babysitters and Math: Shut Your Trapezoids!
and, of course, Valentines and Math:
11 February 2010
2. It doesn't begin to snow with any strength whatsoever until 2:00 PM, but one decided not to go anywhere* since one had heard the conistent refrain, "When it starts, it'll it hard!"
3. It never hits hard, so the girls don't go out sledding until 4:30 PM.
4. Dad snow-blows the ~5"of snow at 6:45 AM the next morning.
*I did in fact make a quick run at 10:00 AM to Best Buy for a computer problem, but the streets were so deserted that, as I emailed several people, it seemed as if there was a sniper on the roof. (One colleague mis-read that, and thought I said a "stripper" on the roof...which, at the time a) wouldn't have been noticed and b) wasn't even too cold for!)
07 February 2010
06 February 2010
Film #2, with an intro by African American History and Philosophy scholar, Dr. Felton Best, is now less than two weeks away -- February 19th: SHOW BOAT!
Spread the word.
Two songs that I think should be added to the show:
Elton John's "Empty Garden" for Mary:
Who lived here?
[S]he must've been a gardener who cared a lot
Who weeded out the tears and grew a good crop,
but now it all looks strange...
And I've been knocking
But no one answers
I've been knocking most of the day
And I've been calling
Hey, Hey, [Colin], can't you come out and play?
and John Lennon's "Mother" for Colin:
Mother, you had me, but I never had you...
Mother, you knew me, but I never knew you...
(with lots and lots of anguished screaming).
I'll offer my alternative reading of the play in another post soon. Stay tuned!
04 February 2010
03 February 2010
Instructor: Turn to the page about Isaac Newton.
GG (to the students at my table): Isaac Newton, this guy's really cool.
Student 1: Was he the guy that invented the cookie?
Student 2: The Newton?
Student 1: Yeah, the Newton cookie.
GG: The Fig Newton? No, I think that was someone else.
Student 3 (without a hint of irony): It was probably his brother.
02 February 2010
01 February 2010
It may not be cheating, per se, and I kinda feel dirty, but my game's on fire.
about whether Kobe Bryant is the greatest Laker ever, but then again I really like debates about ranking.
So, let’s change things up a bit.
Who, in your opinion, are the top 10 greatest 20th-21st-century literary critics?
Is Foucault better than Derrida?
What about Julia Kristeva?
Should Wolfgang Iser be ranked higher than Mario Praz?
Can Terry Eagleton be talked about in the same breath as Merritt Hughes?
What about Northrup Frye?
Should C.S Lewis be part of the conversation at all?
Can you talk about Gilbert and NOT Gubar? Wellek and not Warren?